


A Very Merry Bat-Christmas

by FleetingMadness



Category: DC Animated Universe, Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons)
Genre: Christmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 10:25:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12340821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FleetingMadness/pseuds/FleetingMadness
Summary: Bruce explains to Clark why Wayne Manor doesn't decorate for the holidays.





	A Very Merry Bat-Christmas

“Alfred?”

“Yes, Master Bruce?”

“We both know that you’re very good at what you do.”

“I’d stake my reputation on it, Sir.”

“Did you do this?”

“Goodness no, Sir.” Alfred looked across the lawn to the high walls of Wayne Manor. “I do appreciate your faith in me, but to erect all of this in one night would be, if I do say so myself…” He looked at Bruce out of the corner of his eyes. “Superhuman.”

Bruce hung his head and rubbed his temples. It was partially due to a residual headache from getting hit with a brick by a mugger last night, but mostly to stop looking at the horrendously over-lit silhouette of his house. Blinking lights were affixed to every corner and window, and the eaves had icicle lights dangling over every inch of them. The flat surfaces were covered in decorative snowflakes and crudely animated light-up santas. The entire front of the manor was covered in dancing red and green stars, being projected from three different spots on the front lawn. About half the boughs on a tree near the building had a string of lights woven through them, and the rest of the string lay in a messy tangle amidst the bare branches where someone had clearly given up. Bruce took one last withering look at the blinking reindeer outlines on the crest of the roof before he pulled out his cell phone.

“Would you like me to start taking them down, Sir?” Alfred offered.

“Thank you, Alfred,” Bruce said, “But I want him to do it.”

“Who ever do you mean, Sir,” Alfred said flatly as Bruce started his call.

“Clark? It’s Bruce.”

“You know I have caller ID, right?” Clark Kent asked.

“Old habits. Like not celebrating Christmas.” Alfred could hear Clark’s laughter.

“Oh come on, Ebeneezer,” Clark chuckled. “Wally and I couldn’t stand the thought of you and Alfred in that giant spooky mansion on Christmas, so we decided to liven it up a little.”

“Well, I’d like you to un-liven it.” Years of serving Bruce allowed Alfred to keep a straight face.

“Aw, really?” Clark sounded genuinely disappointed. “You can’t even show a little bit of Christmas spirit? It is the most wonderful time of the year, you know. I promise I’ll take them down on the 26th.” There was a brief pause, and Clark’s heart soared as he interpreted the pause that followed as Bruce seriously considering the option.

“Clark,” Bruce replied. He spoke slowly and deliberately. “You know that I’m Jewish, right?”

Silence.

“What?”

“I’m Jewish,” Bruce repeated. “My mother’s family. My father converted after they married.” He let that sit for a moment. “That means I don’t celebrate Christmas, Clark.”

“I know what it-- Ugh. Sorry,” Clark sighed. “No, I didn’t know. I’ll come take them down tonight.”

“Thank you.”

“You know, this whole thing could’ve been avoided if you’d come out with us once in a while,” Clark chided. “You never talk about yourself. I don’t even know Alfred’s last name.”

“He’s a secretive guy,” Bruce said. Alfred was relieved to see him smile. “By the way, I noticed you’re not tapping into the manor’s power for all of this. Is there a generator somewhere?”

“Oh, that was Victor,” Clark said. Bruce heard some papers shuffle in the background. “He’s got this new microturbine that he wanted to stress test, so I told him I’d handle it.”

“Well it works like a charm,” Bruce said.

“Glad to hear it.” Clark chuckled. “Listen, Bruce, I’ve got to go. I’ll be by later, I promise.”

“I’ll see you tonight,” Bruce said. “I’ll have Alfred cook some more of that lasagna from last time.” He hung up before Clark could respond.

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on someone's observation that since Kate Kane is Jewish, and she's related to Bruce through his mother's side, Batman is also Jewish. Their comment was "DC doesn't seem to have noticed yet," so I noticed on their behalf.


End file.
